And Then?

In the future, they may look back on this blog in wonderment. Or not. Likely not. Anyways, I digress. The point being, true freedom is also freedom to experiment with your own consciousness. Remember that. Also, to have freedom of ideas, no matter how they are laughed at. To this end, the majority of ideas I have get laughed at. Most of the time I don't care though. I love experimenting, I love learning. I think that what I actually see in people who laugh at ideas people have, is there extreme lack of free thought in their own way. For instance, as an engineer, you would think people would be more open minded to contraptions of all kinds. Quite the contrary. I run into a lot of engineers who simply feel empowered due to their mastery of mathematics and physics, etc. I won't pretend to be a master, but I can make numbers move around on a page with the best of them. What I do possess though-and it isn't a matter of I have it and they don't- it is simply I STILL have it and they don't anymore-is Imagination.  Please, don't ever lose your imagination no matter how mad it gets. This is your finest gift. For that , I have this for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CbPVoF0KBY


Enjoy.

WAHOOOOOO!!!

If that title didn't get your attention, well, probably nothing will. In recent time, I have started to question myself as a functional human in society. Why do you ask? Well, that gets a bit complex. But, the short of it is, being functional in society isn't necessarily a good thing. Okay, I know, where is this all going, right? Look, it is obvious now more than ever that we are being totally duped. Which, you know, is sort of to be expected. We are human after all. We are not perfect. And it is these imperfections that get preyed upon. By whom? Everyone in charge. That is who. This is not new. This is just a much grander scale than it has ever been. You know how America is supposed to be the land of the free? How can you be free with that much debt and feeling of always owing somebody? It pretty much diminishes a person's self worth in a very effective manner. Hell, people have spent generations paying off debt only to die with more of it than they ever started with. So, we are living in a time where our materialistic possessions are worth more than our family. We as Americans are worth less than people in Bangladesh. Not on a human scale. Simply on a dollar and numbers scale. They have absolutely nothing. But. They have no debt. Which is not what can be said about the majority of Americans today.

To understand where I am going, I will need to go back....far back..

I was angry. Extremely angry. It was one of the early steps of enlightenment. Depression came later. I would ride my motorcycle as fast as I could on gravel roads with no care to live if something went wrong. Most of these trips ended at the city dump where I would crawl into some structure up high and gaze out over the collection of garbage amassed in front of me. Often times, I would listen to Rage Against The Machine while doing so. Usually, this song would be "No Shelter".

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NEoesmnYU4&feature=kp

The imagery that would liven inside of me was flawless. It was clear, that the masses had been duped into needing these things and a structure set in place to conveniently  deliver them, only to end up here. Even while they still had a useful life. Because of marketing. Someone convinced everyone in a rather devious and well thought out way that what they had was not good enough, that only more and new things would serve them well, no matter how well their old things still functioned. Now with the computer age, this only happens at a much faster rate.

Look at this waste, all of it, and who profits? The system is rigged and ultimately the elite profit. "They fix the need, develop the taste, buy the products or get laid to waste...."

 "The main attraction - distraction got ya number than number than numb Empty ya pockets son; they got you thinkin that What ya need is what they sellin Make you think that buyin is rebellin...."


And you know what? Yeah, you already guessed it. Everything I just said is nothing new, nothing profound. The only thing it was, was profound to me. And in such a way that affected my life drastically.

Fast forward 10 years and the problems I saw, the anger I had, has been successfully subdued. How? How did I go from this point of enlightenment to this current stage of blunder? First, I am only human. Second, I followed my heart. That being said, I have retraced my earlier steps and have just successfully regained my point of enlightenment beyond depression. Thank goodness. This is such a battle. The higher you climb... well... you get the idea.  Anyways, my heart lead me to school to get a degree, to accumulate student debt.. yada yada yada.. The only takeaway though, is that today I did something I felt very strongly about. I don't believe in my company's 401k at all. I think it is a hoax. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH. That being said, I just cashed it out after a bunch of rigamarole to pay off my student debt. I don't regret it at all. In fact, I am stoked. I simply don't believe that those numbers will mean anything later. But having my debt paid in full means a hell of a lot to me right now. I would rather be a zero than a negative.

Love and LSD

In a blaze of LSD infused schizophrenia, the surroundings appeared warped. I closed my eyes instead. The birthing and dying of a thousand worlds a second, all different, all unique, occurring at a constant and blistering pace. I try to follow it. I let go anything I am holding on to. Where will this go? The images are at times incredibly frightening. The trick, however, is to remain completely unattached to whatever you are being shown. Other times, the images are gorgeous, glistening full of libido, the stuff any man would give his life for at the drop of a hat. The trick, however, is to remain completely unattached to whatever you are being shown. If I can do this, if I do not fall into this trap, things get ever more interesting and the universe reveals another speck of itself. I really want to expand on this point right now but I have to keep moving. The realization occurs that to move forward I have to do it with Love. Love of everything. There is no selecting here. You have to love the good AND the bad. This is the purest essence of love. The only comparison I can conjure at this point is that of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, when they are in the Valley of the Crescent moon and find the hiding place of the Holy Grail. His father, Henry, is shot in the stomach by the antihero of the film. This gives Indiana Jones the necessary motivation to go through all the traps that protect the holy grail, ones that have killed numerous who search for it. The last stage prior to selecting the Holy Grail from a bunch of fake Holy Grails, most of which appear to be purchased from a Value Village around Halloween, (and obviously not the right ones...) has Indiana Jones proving to god his faith in god, and then he steps out into the thin air of what appears to be a cliff going to hell or some where near it. And, with this act being proclaimed by god to be acceptable, Indiana Jones miraculously ends up landing on a stone bridge that becomes visible as he constantly reaffirms his belief in God, and God constantly allows the stone bridge to show itself. This is the essence of pure love, loving with no attachment... no attachment to your own life..whatever that is.  From my previous near departure, my point was going to be that if you get trapped into looking at the cool things, desiring them, get scared of looking at scary things, and hide from them, you are living at the mercy of things. I continue down this path, expressing pure love. The visual effects become more and more plain. A lot like...simply closing your eyes when you are not under the effects of a Hallucinogenic. I ride this wave, this vast ocean of nothingness. I have this feeling that my body is becoming less and less a part of me. As though if I continue, I may leave it entirely. And then, after a while, worms. Images of geometrically unstable worms pulsing and writhing, loving each other, chasing their male end with their female end and vice versa. Is this it? Have I decomposed to the point that the worms are eating me? Is this what happens when you die and the worms come? You love them back as they devour your physical being?? My eyes open. I am encapsulated in a hammock swaying in the trees. How long have I been here? It feels like an eternity.

And there you have it...

It is incredibly easy to get sucked in to the infinite fulfillment of the internet. It has it's caveats, however. For instance, information is obtainable very easily. Eventually, this has meant nearly ALL information is obtained very easily. However, for as much as an information overload as it seems to exhibit, we observe what we are looking for through a terminal made sanitary by hiding behind the guise of electron flow. It is actually completely the opposite. The experiences leave us devoid of a few things. Watching a youtube video on anything gives someone a sight and sound experience, but there is no taste, touch, or physical feel of any kind. Alright this is obviously a garbage way to start a blog. You know, I really, REALLY wanted to keep it together for this one but that just isn't going to happen I'm afraid. SO now what? Not sure exactly. I will get back to you on it.
Awkward

-Haticus Madd